


Speak To Me

by Lamebutsecretelyawesomenerd



Series: We're Almost There [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Depression, Frank's not dead, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Muteness, Probably dark, hopefully this will make more sense than the first story, patrick stump - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 13,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3122285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamebutsecretelyawesomenerd/pseuds/Lamebutsecretelyawesomenerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's back!  Gerard and Frank are still in the mental institution, Mort's still a SOB, Frank is still silent, and Gerard is still broken.  But who isn't in this place, right?<br/> <br/>Gerard is set to help Frank, and vice versa.  They are trying to break each other's walls down, but keep their own defenses up.  They're scared, but they're curious.  And they need each other.  They need love.</p><p>If you haven't read the first story, read it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay okay I know I said it would be longer, but I'M SORRY!

**Chapter 1:**

Frank got less sleep every day. The worst of Gerard’s withdrawal stages were over, but Gerard wasn’t the same. Frank knew that once one stage of withdrawal was over, another one just took it’s place. He knew what Gerard was going through. He had dealt with this before. Frank had been knew to this, too. But he could remember how he had sat on his bed for days at a time, refusing to eat, move, or talk. He couldn’t speak when he had first woken up. But that was, of course, because he had a tube shoved down his throat. They had to pump his stomach, but he was still connected to a thousand machines. He had been dead, he was told. His heart had stopped beating. And he had finally gotten what he deserved. But he woke up in the wrong place. He wasn’t supposed to be breathing. He wasn’t supposed to be connected to machines that were making his heart pump, making his body move. He wasn’t supposed to be alive. But no one understood him. Mainly because he didn’t speak. He couldn’t speak, even when his throat was clear and his lungs were sucking in healthy amounts of air. He couldn’t speak, even when the cuts on his arm were closed and healed and his eyes were shining with life. They weren’t happy, but they were alive. And all that Frank could think was, why me?

But Frank wasn’t an idiot. He wasn’t a helpless, stupid boy that thought about how he was drowning in his sorrows, how he was the only one who was facing the world. He wasn’t one to think about how things could have been. The only time he had thought about the past was before he had swallowed the pills from his shaking hands. And before he made that last, final cut. And before he left the hospital before coming to Planetary. He only thought, why didn’t I take more? Why didn’t I cut deeper? Why didn’t I wait longer before passing out? What will it take for me to finally die?

Frank didn’t think _why me_ _?_  because he was sorry for himself. No, he thought, _why would they save me? Why would those doctors waste the money that went into saving me, the blood that was pumped into me? How many other people died while I was being treated? How many people needed those things? And how many of those people wanted to live?_ Frank knew he wasn’t one of them. He had thought it through. He had known the consequences for others. But for him, it didn’t matter. No one knew him, no one cared about him. His parents weren’t there to love him, his dogs weren’t there to stop him, his friends weren’t there to care. No one. He had no one. And he was only wasting space, wasting air.

There were no reasons to stay behind. And when he woke up, he had thought about pulling everything that was keeping him alive out of his body. He was actually tempted to. But he passed out again. And the nurse was there when he woke up. But she had taped everything down. He was too tired to undo everything. He was too tired to forgive himself. But he blamed himself for not trying hard enough that first time. For not doing enough to push him over the edge for the last time.


	2. Catch This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which shit happens. Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating a few days early just so I can procrastinate.

**Chapter 2 (23):**  
Frank watched Gerard. Both boys sat on their beds. Gerard was facing the wall, his back to Frank.

  
Frank waited. He knew pretty well how to break people. Gerard was next on his list.

  
Frank waited. And waited. And waited. He knew Gerard was thinking. And he knew what Gerard was thinking about. He eventually couldn’t hold it in any longer. He started to laugh. Gerard spun around and glared harshly. But Frank only took a pencil and a piece of paper and scribbled something down. He threw it at Gerard.  
Gerard lunged forward to catch it, but ended up shrieking and cowering backwards after tripping on his own ankle.

  
He wasn’t used to catching things that were flying towards him.

  
A smile graced Frank’s lips, but his face remained facing his notebook.

  
He unfolded the small, crumpled ball.

  
 _Just so you know, it's practically impossible to die here. Trust me. I've seen people locked in a room for weeks. Just trust me, it’s literally worse than jail._

  
Gerard wondered how Frank knew what he was thinking. He hoped Frank wasn’t as messed up as he was. He really hoped. He knew the kid was young. He didn’t like to think about Frank experiencing anything nearly as fucked up as he had. He figured the boy had done something more than just stopped speaking to end up here. Gerard had done a lot more than drinking, that’s for sure.

Addiction wasn’t particularly nice to Gerard. Or Frank. It just didn’t seem to like them. So it decided to give them an extra share.

  
Blades weren’t very nice, either. They always seemed to find a way to wedge themselves into the boys’ hands.

  
Blood was nicer. It came out of hiding when they wanted it to. That was nice.

  
But Planetary was a fucking hellhole. As Frank had said, there was nothing to give Gerard the satisfaction of meeting his old friend, Blood, again. Gerard was practically dead. He had thought his alcohol withdrawal had been worse than hell. But this was even worse. He had endured so much over the years, not feeling anything was more painful than actually feeling.

  
Unfortunately, neither one of the boys knew they shared a mutual friend, Blood.

The staff member came, and went. They were checked up on in 30 minute intervals. Not that they could do anything. Gerard turned around four times over the course of 2 hours. Frank wasn’t necessarily lonely, but he was bored as fuck. Usually, he didn’t spend this much time in his room, but he was determined to show Gerard that he wasn’t alone. So, he stayed.

  
And Frank waited. And waited. And waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to tell you that there are longer chapters. Because I just write short chapters. If you want long ones, wait a bit and I'll see how fast they can grow...


	3. Yikes, Mikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's baaack.

**Alright guys, Mikey’s back. It’s a strange chapter, but let me tell you, I got pretty damn good at typing “apologized”.  
Chapter 3 (24):**

  
Mikey came. He came and visited Gerard. And he apologized. He _apologized_. He apologized for not being there for Gerard. He apologized for not noticing, for not seeing the signs. For not seeing Gerard more often. But Gerard wasn’t looking at his little baby brother. No, he was looking at the dark soul that had abandoned him. That had yelled at him. That had left him, taken his heart and smashed it to pieces. He was looking at the one that had kicked him until his clothes were stained a deep shade of red. He was looking at the one who had walked away. And he didn't apologize anymore. He was done crying. He was done wishing that Mikey would forgive him. And he knew in the back of his mind. He knew that Mikey wasn't the one who was against him. But he also knew the truth. He knew Mikey better than the younger brother knew himself. He knew Mikey better than he knew himself.  
He didn't know himself at all.

Mikey came. And Mikey left. And Gerard didn't change. He hadn't spoken much to Mikey. He hadn't hugged back when his brother embraced him. He hadn't slipped a single tear as his brother soaked his shirt, hadn't made a single effort to understand Mikey's words. He was done listening. He was done feeling. And all he wanted, all that he had ever really wanted, was a blade.

Gerard used to be best friends with his brother. He still considered himself to be, mostly because his best friend was his only friend. Everywhere he went, he was somehow able to lose friends. That is, until he ran out of friends to lose. It’s not that he was popular, he was just accepted into a group of douche bags that said he was cool because he drank and smoked and did drugs and jumped off of roofs. Of course, none of them could even remember what the others had done during the night, but they woke up and clapped one another on the back for smashing a window or some other shit. Gerard didn’t mind, really. He would have done everything without them, anyways, so he may as well have been appreciated for wasted his life away. He was already seen as a failure to his parents, so it didn’t really matter to them what he did. He could have run away, after all, and no one would have noticed. Really, he didn’t matter to anyone, other than Mikey. Mikey was the star kid. He wasn’t necessarily perfect, but anything was better than Gerard. He was just a kid who had fucked up his life, just a smudge in the background of the family portrait.

It hadn’t always been like that. He used to be a good kid, have good grades, be good at art, talk to his family. Back when he was actually acknowledged by his family. But soon, the depression came and found him. And he was fucked over.


	4. Don't Resist, Never Give In to the Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard learns a lesson. It's not a very fun chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing is so shitty, haha. I read over my chapters I wrote a month ago and they suck!

**Chapter 4 (25):**  
When Gerard first planned it out, he had no idea if it was going to work. He simply had realized that he didn't want it, so he didn't take it. So he had a plan, and thought, more like hoped, that it would work. Yeah, he was wrong.

Gerard had tried resisting. There was only so much they could do. Yeah, wrong again.

Gerard had woken up, ready to face the day. Not. He hadn't woken up because he hadn't slept. He hadn't been ready to face the day because he never was. And never would be in the future. But he tried. No he didn't. Either way, Gerard was having a major internal conflict: actually try to do something with himself so he could get out of here, or mope around and feel sorry for himself. The latter was easier. He didn't have the energy for anything. And that was true.

But he did try to resist when the tiny paper cup of pills was handed to him. The nurse expected him to just take it. He didn't. Well, at first. He refused over and over again. They stayed calm, which, evidently, was a bad idea. He just became pissed off. More at himself. More at the world. He couldn't decide. And the more they monotonously forced him to take his pills, the more he became pissed off, the more he resisted, the more he yelled and caused a scene. The guards came, Dr. Stump came, the nurses and the patients came. Frank came. And every one of the adults had tried to get Gerard to take his "little white capsules of infinite doom." But he refused. And fought back, never listening to anyone. And then, everyone was mad or pissed off or disappointed or annoyed. And Gerard still refused to take his pills. The scene grew and the tension thickened. It was a dangerous game to play, but Gerard refused to lose. Even though his fate was inevitable, he refused to accept. The tension continued to grow, everyone yelling at Gerard to take his fucking pills. And he didn't listen. And they yelled. And he didn't listen. He didn't listen until a small, but strong hand reached from the middle of nowhere, turning Gerard around faster than a tornado could. And Gerard wasn't met with a another open mouth. He was met with eyes. _Hazel_ eyes. Piercing, unforgiving eyes. He hadn't expected his own shame to crash into him as if the ceiling had caved in. The world stopped. All that existed was Gerard's jagged breaths and the flaming eyes in front of him. The eyes did not flicker away shyly, but forced themselves into Gerard's soul. They opened his mind and spoke to him. And he brought his hand up to his mouth. And swallowed.

The hazel orbs that had been tinted with dark red softened and left Gerard's face. They turned away and vanished into the crowd that was already leaving. Frank turned one last time and met his eyes with Gerard's. Something was in his expression, but Gerard couldn't decipher the strange glint. It was a cross between disappointment and understanding. Understanding wasn't something that Gerard had encountered often throughout his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, italicizing is a pain in the ass on AO3. No comments? Cool.


	5. Fuckin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another shitty chapter that has no content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know. Don't worry, I'll post another chapter tonight.

Chapter 5 (26):  
It was halfway through November. Frank was fucking cold. Gerard was still hot, but not temperature wise. Gerard was cold and Frank was mad. And Gerard was mad. And Dr. Stump was warm. And Frank was silent. And Gerard was tired. And Dr. Stump was still warm. And fucking Planetary was fucking cold in fucking November. Oh yeah, and Frank and Gerard were mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of, maybe, slightly in love with Disenchanted.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a long chapter! Okay, so in the beginning of chapters, there is "Chapter __ (__):"  
> That just means that if this fic was combined with Getting Better Starts With a Piece of Cake, the number in parentheses would be the chapter number. That probably made no sense :)

**Chapter 6 (27):**

Gerard wasn't sure what to say. He just knew that even though what he did wasn't cool, what Frank did was even worse. He marched into the dorm, ready for action. But he didn't know what to do.

Frank was writing new lyrics in cool fonts, creating a collage of various lines that evoked a painful emotion or memory. He had looked so peaceful, Gerard wasn't even sure what to do. So he sat on his bed and stared at the wall. He finally spoke. They were stupid words.

"Why'd you do that?"

No answer.

"Why'd you do that, huh? Why didn't you just let me do something on my own? Why did you have to interfere? I was doing _fine_. I've always been _fine_. I don't need you to come and change that. I'll be fine, I'm fine, everyone's fine. Everything is fucking fine. Just-just why were you even there? Why can't you let me screw myself up, why do you have to come and make me do the "right" thing? I really don't-"

He stopped talking suddenly. He watched as Frank continued to stare down at his notebook, never breaking his gaze. But he didn't miss the slight tightening of his pencil grip, the slight darkening of the lines, the ever-so faint glisten in his eye. Gerard didn't miss any of it.

He spoke again in a low, menacing voice.

"Why did you do have to do that, butting into my own fucked up mess. I didn't need that, and you certainly didn't, either. I'm _fine_."

He wasn't even sure what he was talking about anymore, but his anger was getting fueled every second he was alive. Life was only a reminded of his failure and "issues". He didn't let that failure bullshit that his "friends" and "family" had said get to him, but he wasn't unfazed by it. He wasn't a wall, he was just a deep mass of putty that people throw things into, thinking that they've disappeared, when really, it's all just lodged deep in the center forever.

But he was still angry. And he didn't have anything to do but let it out. Onto Frank.

"I was doing fine before that, I was _fine_. Sure, I didn't want to live, and sure, I still don't, but that doesn't mean that I ever will. I'm okay, you didn't need to be there, you didn't have to be there. I wasn't going to take the meds, I wasn't going to drown my sorrows in drugs. I know better than anyone that that _doesn't work_. And then you come along, piercing me with those fucking beautiful eyes of yours, making me _think_ , making me-"

He was cut off by a piece of balled up paper hitting him in the arm. He slowly unfolded it, keeping his eyes on Frank. In his ranting, he hadn't noticed that Frank had stopped doodling and was writing him a message. He let his eyes drift down to the message.

_I was helping you._

He didn't read farther before letting his anger out.

"Helping me? Helping doesn't _work_. Helping me doesn't work.  It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't work. I don't know if it works on other people, but it doesn't work on me. But I refuse your help, thank you very much. Isn't this whole fucking place supposed to help me? Don't see anything getting better, huh? I refuse."

He turned his attention back to the paper. Frank knew him better than he had anticipated.

_Resisting doesn't work. And I know that better than anyone. Giving in is easier, we both know that. But you gave into the wrong side. No one is here to hurt you, everyone is-_

Gerard couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't hold anything in, but he would not cry. He would not give in to anyone or anything. He was done. He was stronger now, hardened. His shell would not be cracked this easily. And so, he didn't cry.

Another paper landed beside him.

He unfolded it.

_It's okay._

That was it. Gerard got up and walked straight to the door. He was done. He had heard too much of that in his lifetime.  
"Are you okay?" "Oh, it's okay." "Suck it up, you'll be okay."

He was done. He wasn't okay. How blind was the world to not see how not-okay he was?

Frank's eyes followed him to the door, never flickering away. He knew that Gerard wasn't mad at him, but he also knew that he was. He was the little mistake that flipped Gerard's switch from blind to seeing too much. Everyone has that switch, just most people haven't flipped it yet.  
Gerard got out of the room, attempting to slam the soft-shut door. Another thing added to his list of: Things That Gerard Way Sucks At. That list included making friends, having common sense, and quitting drinking. And now, slamming doors specifically made to not slam. He thought he was special. Apparently he needed a strong will to accomplish those things. He didn't have a strong anything, really.

By the time he had reviewed everything on his list, he was at the lobby by the entrance. He sat down on one of the extremely luxuriously comfortable plastic chairs. He buried his head in his hands, closing his eyes and drowning out the voices until they were a quiet hum in the distance.

He didn't move until someone placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped, but unplugged his ears. He prayed his eyes open, wincing at the bright lighting, but blinked and adjusted quickly.

He listened to what the woman, a nurse, was saying.

"Mr. Way? Oh good, you've come to! I've been calling you for quite a while!"

She made a small hmph sound before getting on with her message.

"Alright, Mr. Way, I have some very exciting news! You have a visitor, well two!"

Two? Gerard knew it couldn't be Mikey and someone else. Mikey didn't know that many people. He laughed to himself at that thought. But the nurse would have said it was Mikey. She was there before when he visited, and she seemed to remember everyone. Seriously, everyone. Honestly, Gerard wasn't sure if he should be interested, or creeped out. She was an interesting person, though. So he went for interesting.

He nodded and pushed his scattered thoughts aside. All of the drama from the morning was cleared, leaving his mind temporarily, giving it room to breathe and space to take in new information. He stood and walked stiffly towards the door that led him to the visiting room. The room was deserted with the exception of two nurses. His body was immediately pulsing with white hot anger. He turned around before they had noticed him, trying to walk away unseen.

But no, the nurses couldn't have that.

"Oh, Mr. Way, so glad you're here!"

Gerard groaned and internally cursed her. He plastered the fake smile that he had become acquainted with over the years on his face. He was sure he looked worse than shit, but he honestly didn't care.

They stood and watched him shuffle over to them. He really wasn't in the mood for visitors. His anger had come crashing down on him all at once. Spontaneous acts of evil were not greatly appreciated. He plopped down in the seat across from them, sinking as far into the cushion as possible. It didn't help, considering he was trying to disappear into a two inch layer of foam. Great results were achieved. He successfully fell out of the chair, misjudging the texture of the seat cover and the width of the arms. And he hit his funny bone on the way down. The day couldn't have gotten any worse. But then, it did. It goes a lot worse. And Gerard was confused as to why the place he had fallen into from his nice, slightly crushed cushion wasn't Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all of you guys.


	7. Frank has some thoughts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh this story is shit.

Chapter 7 (28):  
Frank didn't like taking pills more than anyone else. In fact, he probably hated it more than anyone in the world. But it was hard to resist. He was too tired to resist. He had exhausted his attempts at the beginning. He felt like a dog who had had so much energy when he was a young pup, but was now grown into an old, lazy adult. Kind of like any American, for that matter. He was too tired to fight. He might be strong enough to resist again, but he didn't see that at all in the remote future. He seemed happy, he even felt happy sometimes, but he knew it was the medication. 

Frank didn't like being drugged more than anyone else. In fact, he probably hated it more than anyone in the world. But it was hard to resist. He was too tired to resist. He was too tired to fight. He seemed happy, he even felt happy sometimes, but he knew it was the medication.

Frank didn't like being a zombie without any independent thoughts, without a personality, without an identity more than anyone else. But he was too tired to resist. Too fucking tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I have so much homework.


	8. Hail Doesn't Know How to Write Longer Chapters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're lactose intolerant, don't read this chapter, it's too cheesy for even myself to handle. Ugh, I'm so unoriginal. But that was a pretty funny joke, right? Lactose intolerant? Cheesy? Eh?  
> I'm so lame. And not in a cool way. Like, a lame way.

Chapter 8 (29):

"It's not okay. Nope, it's not okay. I'm not okay. You're not okay. No one in this whole fucking institution is okay, Frank. Okay?"  
He slammed, or tried to slam, the door on the way in. He had been a coward, leaving without confronting them, but he thought of it more as self defense. He had left before talking to them. He didn't want to speak to them, he didn't want to see them, he didn't want to breathe the same air as them.

"And no, I'm not okay. But I don't need a fucking lawyer, I don't need a fucking decent set of parents, and I don't need a fucking _pill_. I don't need anything."

He buried his face in his arms, dragging his knees up to his chest. His conflicting emotions were obvious in his words. He was fine. But he wasn't. But he was. But he wasn't. He curled into a tight ball, not budging as he felt Frank sit down next to him. Frank tried to comfort Gerard by putting an arm across his shoulders. But Gerard wouldn't-he couldn't-let himself be weaker than he already was.

"Don't touch me. I-I just want to be alone right now."

Frank understood. Without understanding. He knew that everyone had layers, some thick and some small. And he knew that Gerard was just a walking onion. An enigma with a thousand layers. But Frank was ready to get to the center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapters coming soon to make up for horribly short chapters. :|


	9. Fucking Mental Institutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy? Or don't. It's not really a good quality chapter, but oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! So, I'm really sick, so I probably will have delayed updates for the next week or so, but I've started a new project that I'm SUPER excited about!

Chapter 9 (30):

"Mr. Way?"

Someone was knocking on the door softly.

Frank tried to get up to see who it was, but failed utterly. He needed to go to music therapy, anyways, but he just couldn't bring himself to stand. Lately, he had fallen in love with this new band, Panic! At The Disco. But seriously, who puts an exclamation point in the middle of their name? Of course, he continued to love his old bands like Black Flag, Beastie Boys, and the occasional Iron Maiden, but this new band was interesting. Music was really the only thing he was connected to from the outside world. At least when he got out, he would be able to carry on a conversation with another music junkie. That is, if he ever had a conversation again. He couldn't be too sure. He didn't like to get his hopes up. Yup, so very optimistic.

Anyways, he had come back to the room after a while, finding Gerard in the same position on the floor. He decided it was safe to approach. He lowered himself quietly and settled himself next to the collapsed figure with his head buried in his arms. He knew this phase. He had gone through it, as had almost everyone else at Planetary. Of course, it varied for each individual, the length, the feelings evoked, the intensity. Every stage was like Hell for Frank, and he didn't suspect anything different from Gerard. He knew something was different about Gerard. There were secrets. Someone wasn't just sent to a fucking _mental institution_ for alcoholism. They'd be sent to rehab, no doubt. Something wasn't being said, but then again, there was a lot that Frank wasn't saying, too. Figuratively, of course.

At least Gerard was almost done with the worst of it. All he could do was wait. The withdrawal from alcohol, plus the withdrawal from the outer world stages were over. He had finished the revelation faze, and nearing the end of the resisting phase. He still had to get through the acceptance phase, but that came in unpredictable time periods. It's impossible to gauge how long it will take someone to accept that there are two ways to get out of the hospital, you listen and do what they say, or you die. Many people want the second option but it's less of an option than a restricted "prize". Pretty much, they dangle it in front of you, leading into the determined phase. But people are idiots, not stupid. These doctors know you better than you know yourself. They knew Frank. And Frank was a force to be reckoned with.

The next phase was the determined phase. Once someone understands that the only way to get out is to show improvement, they start to think that they can go back to drinking, or drugs, or self harm once the get better and get out. But as he said before, the doctors weren't idiots. They would drug sense into you, if they had to.  
Frank had been settled next to Gerard, thinking, until he was startled by movement. Gerard's head was resting on Frank's shoulder. He had exhausted himself , Frank could tell, by crying. His eyes were red at the rims and were swollen, but he looked like a peaceful child, sleeping after throwing a tantrum. But this was good for Gerard. The sooner he could accept the situation, the more stable he was. And when he was stable, everyone, especially Frank, was a little better off.

He eventually was able to lean Gerard's head against the wall, standing up stiffly from being on the ground for at least an hour. He stretched his muscles briefly before getting the door. A nurse was standing outside, looking slightly impatient. Frank gasped in shock. There were _people_ here. Not just patients or nurses or guards, real people from the outside. There was a man and a woman standing a little distance from the nurse.

"Hello, Frank."

Frank nodded in greeting.

"Is Gerard here?"

Frank blinked. He wasn't sure what had happened, but he assumed these were the people that Gerard ran from. Frank stood there, having a mental debate whether or not to nod or just continue to be a weirdo. She was probably going to come in anyway, so he hit the wall with the back of his foot while 'clearing his throat'. The shoe's contact sent off a series of stirring motions inside the room before he heard a small grunt. He had successfully woken Gerard up. Achievement unlocked.

The woman from the outside rolled her eyes.

"A simple yes or no would work fine, son. We just need to know if he's in there."

Great, Frank thought, they're mad at me. Frank made a little show of panicking, hoping he was giving Gerard some time to either come to the door, or hide somewhere effectively.

The man stepped forward from his place beside the woman. He asked the nurse a question at a low voice, probably thinking that Frank couldn't hear. Strangely, Frank had an above average sense of hearing. He knew that people without certain senses have particularly strong other senses, but Frank found that not speaking meant lots of listening. And thankfully, he was a good listener. And he listened to what this new guy was saying.

 

"Excuse me, but if you don't mind, may I?" He made a gesture towards me. The nurse looked a little uncomfortable.

"Um, sure, but you should know that he-"

"Whatever it is, ma'am, I'm sure it'll be fine."

He refused to let her speak again, roughly grabbing Frank by the arm and bringing him around the corner and into a vacant hallway. He didn't hurt Frank, just really scared him.

"You know," the man spoke, "it is very disrespectful to not speak when an elder is asking you a question."

Frank almost laughed. What did this guy think he knew? He didn't know shit about Frank. But it was almost humorous, so he let the conversation continue.

He nodded.

"Did you hear what I just said? I think a 'yes, sir' would suffice."

Frank couldn't help it. A smile crept onto his face.

"Oh, you think this is funny? You know what I think is funny? That you're in a mental hospital and I'm a perfectly sane elder, but you're still treating me like I'm trash."

The smile disappeared from Frank's face. His mouth was dry. He wanted to shut this guy up.

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Frank=mental hospital.

The whole world knew that by now.

He did the only thing he really knew how to do. He waited. The man was still half-yelling at him, but he didn't give a fuck, so he didn't listen.

He watched as three people turned into the hallway. One of which being the nurse, the other two being the woman and...Gerard. Gerard!

The guy didn't see them. But apparently, he had asked Frank a question. Frank only knew this because he felt his wrist pulled sharply. The man had a vice grip on the pale boy's forearm. Just because the scars are healed doesn't mean he doesn't have any feeling in his skin! He grimaced.

Gerard saw the man. But Gerard also saw Frank. And Gerard freaked out.

"Answer me! I told you how disrespec- oh...hello, Gerard. It's been a while."

"Let go of Frank."

The fist that was painfully enclosing Frank's arm obliged and went back to its owner.

Gerard turned to Frank.

"Hey." Frank blinked in return. Gerard handed him his notebook and a pencil, smiling ever so slightly. Frank knew that Gerard wasn't at ease, and decided to not butt into his personal affairs with others. He wasn't sure who these people were, but he was almost positive that Gerard had a strong distaste for them. He wondered if he had seen his parents yet. Most times, the parents come within the first week. Except for Frank, of course.

Based on the woman's proximity to Gerard, he assumed that they knew how pissed he was, and half respected that. Probably his parents. But he wouldn't assume easily. Someone had told him when he was younger to never assume, because it makes an Ass out of U and Me. Haha. Not funny.

"You okay?" Gerard's voice cut into his thoughts. Frank just nodded. The clump of people started walking and Frank was pushed forward. He tried to get out of the way and let them pass, but Gerard gave him a look that told him to stay. Peer support. Frank missed having peers. There were a handful of teens at Planetary, but not enough for anyone to like Frank. The odds of that were about 1/5,000, so there had to be 5,000 teens at the hospital for one person to even remotely acknowledge Frank. But Gerard was 20-something, right? So he had a peer. That was nice for him.

But Gerard was forcibly dragged away by his "father" (Frank assumed; rules were for people that weren't in mental institutions). Gerard caught Frank's eye, a panicked look crossing his face.

And Frank wanted to follow, but Dr. Stump decided to butt in and talk to him.

"Want to chat? It's about time for the monthly status update, so you wanna get it over with?"

Frank shook his head.

"Alright, well, you don't really have a choice, so...let's go!"

How could Dr. Stump be so happy about filling out a bunch of papers and forms?

They made it to his office within a few minutes of silence.

He beckoned for Frank to close the door and sit down. Frank did as he was asked and tried to make himself comfortable, but his mind wouldn't get off of Gerard. He didn't like it when someone was panicking in a place specifically designed to reduce panic. But then again, who doesn't panic when they're imprisoned in a freaking mental institution...


	10. Stupid Short Chapters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Younger me just can't seem to be able to write longer chapters. Btw, these chapters were written months ago haha.

Chapter 10 (31):  
Gerard's parents cut straight to the chase. Didn't even bother to say a nice "hello our dear son! Sorry we've just dropped you off in a mental institution and haven't said a word to you since!".

He would have appreciated that...

But they did say something.

"We have some news."

"Oh my gosh," Gerard said, gasping. "Mikey's pregnant?"

His parents rolled their eyes as they had done too often in the past. He was the same old pain in the ass he had always been. But Gerard just smiled innocently, spite shining in his eyes.

"You getting charged. More, _we're_ getting charged."

His grin disappeared.

"What?"

"You. When you were off getting high, you apparently decided to break into a house and climb onto the roof. Then, you proceeded to jumping off of the roof and smashing a car hood. Congratulations, you've accomplished your goal, right?"

Gerard was confused, but his eyes had seas of anger behind them. His eyes burned, but he didn't know why. He wasn't going to cry, but he wasn't necessarily feeling like a child on Christmas morning, either. He was tired, confused, angry, and just fed up with this whole thing. First, his parents come, then, he's told that the police are pressing charges, then he finds out that he needs to meet with a lawyer and go to court. His day just keeps getting better. He sits silently until his parents decide that they've burned his ears off enough for the day. They said they would be back. With a lawyer. Great.

Gerard couldn't even recall what had happened. That night was probably after a bad day. He tended to be a little more dangerous when he was upset. He probably took the pills. No, he definitely took the pills. Sometimes he missed them.


	11. Drugs.  You know, the good ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, Three cheers for my shit writing
> 
> And, btw, I haven't said this a lot lately, but I really want to thank everyone here for reading all the way up to here (and maybe reading my other stories). I know, I'm a difficult little squirt.

**Chapter 11 (32):**  
"Hey, Frank."

"Hey, Gerard. Listen, I just want to confess my undying love for you. Will you be my lover for ever and ever until we both die in each other's arms?"

"Shut the fuck up. And you know what? You and your little homophobic ass can go rot in Hell."

“Excuse me, Mr. Way. We must direct you to see Dr. Stump. Such language is not accepted in this facility.”

“Fucking shit. It’s not my fault! He started it, it’s not my fau-”

“Mr. Way. Please follow me.”

“Bye, Gerard.”

Gerard just flipped Mort off and walked behind the nurse.

He heard a sigh from behind him.

Gerard turned around and made eye contact with Frank, but Frank was just chuckling and shaking his head, a smile playing at the end of his mouth. Gerard let his mouth form into a smile and the anger was gone immediately.

Frank really was a drug. A miracle drug. And for once, the words didn’t have a negative connotation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but apparently, the me from a few months ago didn't have the energy to write longer chapters...I'll be back soon, I guess


	12. Do You Even Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I forget what's happening in this story...

Chapter 12 (33):

Gerard hated Mort. Strong words, but fitting. He hated him. He hated how confident and macho he acted, despite the fact that he was a tiny, insecure, homophobic jerk. He wasn't really tiny, he was maybe Gerard's height, but he was a scrawny little d-bag. Gerard especially hated the fact that Mort was picking on Frank. Especially how many references to Gerard were thrown in. He was almost positive that Frank wasn't gay, but he sure was made fun of a lot. Gerard felt bad. But he was kind of confused, were they making fun of Frank, or making fun of him? Or both? He wasn't sure. But either way, he didn't like it. Frank was suffering, Gerard put himself at fault, and it was hell.

All over again.

But people would bully Gerard wherever he was. Even if he was alone and in complete isolation, he would probably still bully himself...

His mind drifted back to the real world when Frank shoved him gently with his shoulder.

 _You okay?_ He mouthed.

"Yeah. Whatever, just pissed at Mort. And everyone, really. Well, everyone but you."

Frank smiled and blushed slightly. Then, he blushed more from realizing he had blushed. He was just a blushing mess. Tomatoes.

_Do you like tomatoes?_

"What?"

Frank let out a small chuckle. Gerard just leaned back in his chair and studied his face. He let his eyes drift over every feature, memorizing the layout. He reminded himself to draw him later on.

Frank's eyes had glazed over as they stared out the window, a position he often found himself in. He was always caught daydreaming and zoning out. That was rarely ever a good thing. He jumped when a voice sounded out next to him.

"Excuse me, ladies, but I need to interrupt your make out session with a message. It's time for group therapy, so let's get going!"

Frank rolled his eyes and threw a piece of crumpled paper at the target. He hit it on the bullseye. Gerard laughed as Mort turned red from anger. Or embarrassment. Frank reviewed why it probably wasn't a good idea to throw a piece of paper at someone's head, but ended up laughing. He was always laughing around Gerard. It was good. He got a pretty nerdy vibe from him, but Frank wasn't sure if Gerard was quite yet ready to handle his Jar Jar rant...

Plus, he wouldn't kill Gerard with the worst character of all time yet. He didn't seem to be having the best day, anyways.

The day passed by, consisting mainly of Frank and/or Gerard flipping people off when people weren't watching. It was fun.

He fell asleep quickly, facing Gerard. He felt a strong sense of security, even though Gerard's back was to Frank, signaling that he didn't want to be bothered. Frank had a good night sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. So, my life is kind of falling apart right now and I won't update my chapters for a little bit. Well, until I figure everything out and everyone in my family speaks to each other again! Yay. Love you all and thank you for reading. (I will update Be My Princess tomorrow, though) Also, to make up for it, I have started a brand new story that I'll post soon. I like it, and I hope you do.


	13. Random chapter updating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mystery POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this a while ago, so it's probably horrible!

**Chapter 13 (34):**

There had been a lot of lights. And yelling. And confusion. And running. And crying and tackling and shouting and puking and calling. Frank didn't know what was happening, nor did any of the patie- _residents_. Then, they caught him. But not before he had silently knocked multiple security guard unconscious and broken into the medication room. The room had been lined with racks upon racks of orange, translucent prescription bottles, all carefully labeled and placed. He had to work quickly. The footsteps were coming. He couldn't hear them yet, but he knew they were coming. Well, he didn't know, the voices knew. His friends. They told him to keep going, to keep running. They told him to go on and break the locks, to knock out the guards, to steal the dangerous medications. They were the same friends that had told him to drag a knife across his skin. The same friends that had told him to pop the pills. Those beautiful, white pills. But he had a mission. They had given him a mission. They had opened his eyes. And they weren't happy. So, he wasn't happy. And if he wasn't happy, no one deserved to be happy.

His original plan was just to kill everyone. But the footsteps came too fast. It was too late. The footsteps were closer, gaining in him quickly. He was in the kitchen already (his friends were particularly good at picking locks) and only managed to shake the dangerous powder onto one tray. He wasn't even sure what the pills would do, but he didn't have time to think before wiping his evidence away. He had to get back to his room before someone found him. But he had accomplished part of his goal. He would be back again for more.

The footsteps were here. They were too close. There were too many people. They knew who he was. But they didn't know what he had done. And he smiled before the security guard tackled him. A wicked, nasty grin crawled onto his face as he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. So, I was originally planning to never post again because everything was really interfering with my life and I have 4 huge huge performance/audition things coming up and I'm so so busy. Also, my life is still being pieced back together, so I thought maybe I should just post a chapter. Also, Getting Better only has 10 views until it hits 1k views! May not seem like a big number, especially because my stories on FFN sucked so bad, but had like 6k views, but it's a huge deal for me!! Thank you all, and I love you guys. Also, um, I don't know when the next update will be.


	14. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath

**Chapter 14 (35):**

 

No one knew.  But by morning, all missing security guards had been replaced and all locks had been fixed.  Frank hadn't slept well after, but no one really had.  He knew for sure that Gerard didn't sleep.  Gerard hadn't even tried.  And when Frank had finally drifted off, he was in a strange, put off state, aware of the roommate that was sitting on his bed across their room, not even bothering to lie down.  And he was aware that the roommate wasn't thinking.  And he was aware of his own, scared breaths.  And then he was aware of the noise.  Then the light.  And he watched his roommate carefully.  And his roommate turned around.  And they just sat, one lying, one sitting, on their separate beds, looking at each other.  And neither of them smiled. Or looked away shyly, or moved.  They were just looking.  And Frank felt the cold.  He felt the hatred.  He felt the loss.  He felt the broken in Gerard.  He felt the darkness, but without feeling anything at all.  

 

And then Gerard looked away.  He stood and opened the door, not even bracing his eyes against the light.  Then, he closed the door and escaped into the bathroom.  Frank puffed out a breath of air and collapsed back onto his bed.  He needed sleep.  He really needed sleep.

He was woken again by the sound of voices.  The nurses were doing their wake up rounds.  Frank woke with a start, but lay back down quickly.  Headrush.  He glanced across the room.  Gerard was in bed.  But he wasn't even in the form of Gerard, he was just a big pile of sheets, pillows, black hair, and some kind of body.  He slowly slipped out of bed and began to scribble a message.  

 

He placed it on Gerard's pillow, but he found it hard to find the boy's face.  He knew what  Gerard was going through.  His first days had been torture.  Then, it seemed to get better after the first week.  But it all fell back down.  His first week had been a mess, but he learned that he wasn't helping anyone, and the sooner he showed improvement, the sooner he could get out.  Because after all, that was everything he had wanted.  He didn't have his parents waiting outside the doors everyday with open arms, but he did have a world without the nurses, the bullies, the medications that stripped him of his identity.  He would be free.  But he would never be free at this rate.  He would be stuck there forever.  He couldn't speak, even if he wanted to, his body just shut down, an invisible hand clamping down on his throat, making it hard to breathe, let alone speak.  But he stopped trying a while ago.  He could get a few words out, here and there, but he was too mentally exhausted most of the time.  He was just...tired.  Sick and tired.  But he was sick and tired of the world, too.  Of being mistreated, misunderstood.  He had had a rough childhood, but hey, he was still alive.  Barely breathing, but alive, nonetheless.  He didn't want to repeat history; he certainly wasn't up for waking up in another hospital bed, but who was?  The idiot attention cravers, the ones that mislead nations into thinking that everyone cuts for attention, commits suicide for attention, loses hope for attention.  And they are the ones that pollute the minds of the children, of the young babies, and worst, the minds of those who are true.  He could relate to every one of the true population, the people that bleed to feel, that swallow pills to take a break-even if not a permanent one, that slip that noose around their necks to end the endless life of misery.  He had been ready to do that.  But the doctors had saved him.  He had actually _died_.  But here he was, still alive, just stuck in a fucking mental institution.  And he knew that he wasn't crazy, or harmful, or violent.  He was just waiting to get out.  Because that's all he really wanted.  But they wouldn't let him go until he spoke.  Like, actually spoke, like a normal person.  And he knew he couldn't do that, so he was stuck here.  

 

He didn't wait for Gerard to read the note, he just went straight to the bathroom.

By the time he was back, the pile that was Gerard hadn't moved, but the note had disappeared.  Frank smiled softly before making his way to the cafeteria.  

 

As Gerard heard the door click closed, he stirred lazily, too pained to get out of bed.  He was fucking tired.  He hadn't slept, but the pillows proved to be made out of anti-suffocation material, so overall, his night had been pretty useless.  Just like the pasts few days.  Just like his life.  Pointless.  He just didn't understand.  He was gonna die anyway, they were all going to Hell, anyways.  So why did he have to wait?  Why did he have to stay and be beaten more when the suffering could just be over?  But Frank had an answer.  He had a really great answer.  But Gerard didn't know that.  

 

He forced one foot in front of the other, throwing on a sweatshirt somewhere in between his journey from his bed to the door.  It was a long, stressing journey.  But he survived, nonetheless.  And that was something to be proud of.  Not really.  He didn't know.  He didn't care.  Same thing.

 

He had journeyed down the hallway, not acknowledging the multiple nurses passing by him.  He didn't even turn when he heard Dr. Stump call him.  But he stopped, anyways.  He didn't want to cause a scene.  He was too tired for that.  Too overwhelmed.  

 

Dr.  Stump caught up to him quickly, although he came up beside him a little out of breath.  

 

"Just letting you know," he panted, "sorry, I haven't gotten much exercise lately.  Whew!  Anyways, you have a scheduled meeting with...um," he fumbled through his pocket, "ahah!  Mr. Bieber."

 

"Just warning you," he said, leaning in like he was telling him a secret, "he's a bit of a prick, but he's all we've got, sorry."

 

Gerard hadn't looked up from the ground, keeping his eyes trained on the tile.

 

"You really should."

 

"What?  I should be sorry?  Because I am, I really am, but according to our policy, there's no possible way for me to-"

 

"You really should exercise.  I mean-not that you're fat or anything, just that anyone with a job in medicine should be healthy, themselves, you know?"

 

"Yes, I think I'm following."

 

"Good."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Cool."

 

"Okay."

 

"Alright...well, Gerard.  See you later!"  He waved a short motion that looked like a dance move from Grease.  Gerard had always wanted to be in a musical.  No chances of that now, though.

 

Well, at least not for a while.

 

The rest of Gerard's morning flew by.  You know what they say, time flies by when you're having fun.  That had absolutely nothing to do with what happened.  Gerard just simply sat outside of Frank's room during music therapy.  He could've sworn he could hear something like a voice coming from the other side of the door, but he had also been pretty sure that he was a Hawaiian hula dancer at one point, so he learned not to trust himself anymore.  He didn't even know what to believe sometimes.  He didn't know who to trust.

 

By the time he was out of the same room as the lawyer, Mr. Bieber, he was about ready to stab someone.  He was fucking pissed, storming through the halls until he got to his room.  

It was nice to see blood again.  Frank had left an extra notebook in his dresser, and it didn't take long for Gerard to find it.  His original plan was to draw, his only form of self expression left.  He was drawing a black and white picture of two lovers about to kiss.  It was a different picture than he usually drew.  He was used to seeing his work as angry, gory depictions of his struggles.  But this one, it was...more painful.  Slower, almost standing still.  Slowly dying.

He hadn't noticed he was bleeding until it splattered onto the faces in the drawing. He stopped to glance at his finger, a paper cut oozing blood slowly.  The pencil and drawing pad dropped from his hands and clattered onto the floor.  Gerard stared at his bleeding finger.  Before it began to clot, he smeared the blood on his finger and turned to the white wall he was leaning against.  G.  After finishing the pattern and retracing it with another blood-coated finger, he was done.

 

He jumped when the door opened, revealing a defeated looking Frank.

 

"Hey."

 

Frank nodded slightly and made his way across the room, noticing the notebook on the floor.  Then, he noticed the blood.  He turned around and Gerard was gone, already locked in the bathroom.  Well, there weren't any locks, but he sat against the door so Frank couldn't budge it open.  

 

Frank tried with all his might to open the door, but his wimpy, small frame didn't do anything.  He eventually gave up and passed a note under the door.  He felt Gerard pick it up and could almost see him reading it.

 

"I don't wanna open the door.  Are you mad at me?  Oh god, if you don't kill me, someone is definitely going to."

 

Another note.  It reminded Frank of the ticket machines at Chucke-Cheese's.  He stuck a note in, whatever black hole was one the other side swallowed it up.

 

"It's just a paper cut, I swear!  Okay, it looks really really bad on the wall, yeah, but I didn't...ugh.  I don't know what I was thinking, or wasn't thinking."

  
Another note.  The door budged open slowly.  Gerard's face appeared between the door frame and the door, smiling nervously.  Frank returned the smile and sat forward to be closer to Gerard.  Gerard leaned away from Frank cautiously, not knowing what he was doing, but Frank only leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his companion in a gentle, comforting hug.  Gerard only nudged a Frank that happened to be sleeping on his shoulder when the dinner bell rang.  The sleeping Frank's eyes fluttered open, before closing and flying open.  He jumped backwards from Gerard, hitting his head on the sink.  He groaned and sighed, rubbing his head.  Gerard laughed and stood up, holding out a hand to Frank.  Frank took it and stood.  Together, they walked to dinner in a slightly less awkward silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love hearts <3 First part of series is 2 hits from 1,000!!!!!!! Thank you!


	15. Beep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating

Chapter 15 (36):

Gerard woke with a start.  A too familiar feeling was rising in his stomach and climbing up his throat.  He ran for the bathroom, but wasn't able to get anything out.  He sat, dry heaving, until his throat was raw.  The room had begun to spin and shift in and out of focus.  He shook his head and cleared his mind.  But the clarity didn't stay for long.  The slow, unfocused spinning began again and Gerard could feel himself lose balance.  He stumbled out of the bathroom and into his room.  He managed to grab the handle of the door and swing himself into the hallways, careful to be silent, but finding it almost impossible.  He had lost awareness of his surroundings and his own actions, letting his feet drag him wherever they would go.  Soon, he was standing in front of two doors, most likely locked.  

After much struggling and confusion, he had pried the doors open.  He wasn't even sure how he did it, he just...did.  He wasn't sure of anything anymore, but he still let his feet lead the way.  He heard distant footsteps.  He had to hurry.  He grabbed what he had come for, shoving it under his shirt.  He stumbled back out the door, managing to relock them in time.  He raced down the hall, aware of his footsteps echoing softly.  But he was confused.  And lost.  He didn't know where he was.  Or what the date was.  Or who he was.  All he knew was that if he stopped running  something bad would happen.  Stopping=bad.  Simple.  But not for someone who didn't know his own fucking name.  He flung open a random door that his feet halted in front of, half-surprised to see a breathing figure across the room.  Thankfully, it was not stirred by the racket, moving only to avoid the dim light seeping through the doorway.  

Gerard sighed and stuffed the item hastily under some sweatshirts on the top shelf of his closet.  He couldn't stay longer.  He really felt sick.  He raced out the door, hoping to end up in a bathroom, but ended up finding himself back in the hallway.  The footsteps were growing louder, but were relatively slow.  The room was spinning faster, forcing Gerard onto the ground.  Gerard looked down and managed to catch a glimpse of his shirt in the moonlight.  There was a dark stain on the pale grey of the stomach.  Blood.  It was pretty, it'd been a while since Gerard had last seen his own blood.  He let out a low chuckle.  But it was a chuckle that rang throughout an entire body, created tsunamis on the other side of the world, pierced the heart of anyone who dared listen.

That was the last thing Gerard did before the world turned black and the darkness enclosed him.

*** 

Frank was pretty sure something was wrong.  He had woken up suddenly, stale tears dried in a path streaming down his cheeks.  He wiped his face and turned to his one source of comfort.  That wasn't there.  He knew something was definitely wrong when he searched the bathroom, finding it vacant.  The sun had not yet risen, but a shallow light drifted in from the falling moon.  The room was empty.  Frank's nightmare had come true again.  He was alone.  But what really worried him was roommate.  He knew the strict rules of curfew and when he was permitted out of his room.  Frank thought he wasn't willing to risk it, but he was gone and Frank was alone, so...something wasn't right.  

 Frank silently slid open the door, half scared of being caught, and half scared of what he might find.  He was ready to go after a series of breathing exercises that Dr. Stump had taught him.  One thing Dr. Stump was good for.  He dashed out, almost slipping on the too-clean tile floors.  He had not traveled more than a few hallways before he spotted what he had been dreading.

Before him lay a crumpled body, alive, but barely breathing.  His shirt was stained with blood, his head hanging at an awkward angle.  His face was illuminated by the moonlight, setting a creepy, pale glow.  Frank was standing at the other end of the hallway, but he couldn't move his feet.  He heard footsteps and turned only to be blinded by a flashlight.  He had been caught.  But that didn't matter.  The security guard was yelling at him, but he didn't hear it.  He didn't see the light anymore, all he saw was his companion, or what was left of him.  He did the only thing he could think to do.  He ran.

 The security guard was faster than he had thought.  Within a few seconds, Frank was tackled.  But the security guard didn't know he wasn't running away, but only running towards another person.  The security guard tried to get him to his feet, yelling at him.  But Frank only struggled to get closer to his destination.  The guard twisted his arms painfully behind his back, but Frank fought.  He squirmed and kicked and tried so hard.  All he wanted was to save his friend.  The security guard was stronger than him.  He had an iron grip that never relented.  But Frank didn't give up, his determination pulsing through him.  He was able to kick free of the grip, but he hadn't made it far before his face slammed into the tile once again.  This time, the security guard kept most of his weight on top of Frank's small body.  Frank struggled beneath the crushing force, switching between kicking and squirming.  He managed to get to his feet, breathing heavily.  He ran as hard as he could, carefully placing one foot in front of the other, sure that he would make it.  But hands wrapped around his stomach, sending him flying backwards and back to where he had started.  On the ground.  Being crushed.  He didn't stop struggling until he heard what the security guard was saying for the first time.

 "Give it up, kid.  You'll never get out of here."

Those words crushed Frank.  He stopped struggling altogether, afraid to even think.  He didn't want to think, he didn't want to process anything, he didn't want to save anyone anymore.  He was done.  Just as done as he had been on his birthday the year before.  

"What's your name, kid?"

Frank didn't answer.  He couldn't.  He was an idiot who forgot his stupid notebook in his room.  

He was stranded on an island in the middle of the silent hallway.  The security guard had backed off of him after realizing that he wasn't going to run.  He stood up and stretched out a hand to pull up Frank.  Frank still didn't move from his spot, so the guard started walking toward the side of the hallway that they had entered from.  

"Come on, kid.  Let's go, it's past midnight."

Frank was staring straight ahead at the body.  It was now invisible in the shadows, the moonlight shifting and fading into slow sunshine.

"Come on, kid.  Last warning before I'm picking you up and dragging you."  By now, he was standing about fifteen feet away.  Frank's mind finally set off a trigger.  It one motion, he stepped off the ground and sprinted the last thirty feet to his destination.  The guard took a few seconds, but he eventually caught up, but not before Frank was able to get to him.  The guard was heading straight for Frank, but lost his balance when the boy halted suddenly in the corner.  The guard tumbled down, but flicked on his flashlight to see the boy.  But he didn't see one pretty fucked up teenager, he saw two pretty fucked up guys and hazel eyes that were almost spilling over with tears.  

***

_Beep.  Beep.  Beep._

"Shut that fucking alarm clock off, Mikey.  Do it, or I will end you."  The last thing Gerard wanted right then was to open his eyes.  Sleep was such a nice option, very reliable and helpful, at that.  But the last thing the universe wanted right then was for Gerard to be happy.  So it put him in a pickle.  Mikey wasn't turning off the alarm clock, and Gerard couldn't sleep if he 1) opened his eyes and 2) turned off the alarm himself.

_Beep.  Beep.  Beep._

"Just fucking turn it off, already!  I don't need your shit this morning, okay?  I had a bad dream and I need more..."

Gerard didn't finish his sentence.  He was determined to keep his eyes closed, though.  No way was he getting up now.

"Mikey?"

His one word of hope got no response.  Gerard sighed and drifted back to sleep.  He needed another hour of sleep before he could even begin thinking about thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh I have 7 super high stress performances coming up ugh wish me luck ;)


	16. Five Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Yay? To anyone who actually still reads this, hi! Enjoy this "intense" update!

**Chapter 16 (37):**

“Alright, Mr. Way. So, it seems like you have a few injuries, but now that you have regained consciousness, your recovery will be much faster. Now, you are in no way in trouble for what happened, but-”

“Wait. What _happened_?”

“Well,” the nurse hesitated, “that’s not important right now.”

Gerard sighed loudly and threw his hands up in the air.

“Everyone is expecting me to get better, but it’s actually really really really hard to recover when I have a giant hole in my memory where the entirety of yesterday and the day before should be! If someone could please tell me what the _fuck_ is going on, I would really appreciate it.”

“Mr. Way, the doctors here believe that it is best that you recover before you understand the events of what happened. We do not think that you acquiring that knowledge is beneficial to your recovery.”

Before she could speak further, a door slammed on the opposite side of the room. The sound sent a wave of shock through Gerard. The nurse jumps and he watches as her face relaxes slightly.

There is a curtain blocking Gerard’s view of the door, and the visitor, but the nurse has a clear view of the doorway, so she excuses herself, leaving Gerard with a ‘I’ll give you two some privacy’ and a horrible mystery of whoever the person behind the curtain is for about three seconds. Then, he gets a glimpse at the person.

He had dreamed about Frank. Seeing him in person was even better. A smile crept onto his face.

“Hey Frankie.”

Frank didn’t respond, Gerard hadn’t really been expecting him to, anyways. But something was wrong. Frank didn’t smile back. His lips didn’t even twitch. His face was torn between emotions. He looked furious, but he was trying to maintain a neutral expression. It wasn’t working, as his face continued to contort in anger.

The smile fell from Gerard’s face. He was confused, he has absolutely no idea what he had done to make Frank so angry, but his stomach twisted in worry. The room was so silent, the noise killed Gerard’s ears. And time stopped. He couldn’t hear his heartbeat, so he was pretty sure it had stopped pumping, too. Color drained from his face, and he couldn’t move. Frank’s eyes pierced him straight to the bone. He was frightened.

Finally, Frank’s mouth opened. He quickly shut it and walked around to the side of Gerard’s bed. It was in that moment when Gerard noticed a bundle in Frank’s hand. Frank reached into the middle of the folded sweatshirt. His face was inches from Gerard’s. Gerard could feel Frank’s breath on his skin. Gerard’s eyes flicked down to Frank’s hand. His entire body stiffened. But this time, he could feel his heartbeat accelerating to lightning speeds.

The next moment happened so fast, Gerard couldn’t even process it until Frank was gone.

Frank’s free hand swept upwards and caught under Gerard’s chin. Their eyes met and locked. His head was angled uncomfortably upwards. There was a silver flash in the corner of Gerard’s eye. Before he could blink, there was a cold sensation on his neck. He didn’t dare breathe.

There was a glint in Frank’s eyes, undeniable, yet indecipherable. One thing was for sure, it was dangerous.

“What the _fuck_ is this?”

Frank. Five words. A knife. Gerard. Frank had spoken five words. Frank had a knife. The same knife that Gerard had clutched so tightly to his chest. The shiver that ran down his spine as the ice cold metal, that same knife, Gerard’s knife, was now against his neck. Gerard’s knife was being held against his own neck by a mute boy who had just spoken.  Five words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, plot twist! Also, to the highschoolers reading this, good luck with your finals! I'm sure you will do amazing, so don't worry too much! Also, stop reading this stupid story and spend your time doing something better! Go contribute to society and good luck!


	17. Just do it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for leaving you guys for so long, but thanks so much for all the comments and reads and kudos and LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!! Anyway, short update, but enjoy!

Chapter 17 (38):  
Gerard almost told Frank to do it. To just end it right there and then, slit his throat and end his misery. But right now, the knife was in Frank's hands. The ball was in his court.  
Right now, Frank was dangerous. No shit, there was a knife in his hand, but what scared Gerard was that there wasn't even the slightest tremble in Frank's fingertips. His hand was perfectly steady, fingers wrapped tightly around the handle.

They faced each other for what felt like years, daring the other to make a bold move, but nothing happened. The air was stagnant as neither resumed breathing. In a fluid flash of movement, Frank's arm whipped back, snapping forward as he flung the knife through the air. Gerard watched with wide eyes as the knife lodged itself above one of the cots lining the opposite side of the room. Frank straightened his clothes and left swiftly, his long since forgotten sweatshirt still in a heap on the ground.

Gerard blinked slowly. His eyes drifted from the slammed door to the knife, then back to the door. He reached his hand up to his neck, feeling an indent in his skin. He laughed quietly, slowly turning his laughter from a small chuckle to the point where his stomach was twisting.

His lungs burned, his ribs caging in his body, holding it in before he exploded completely.

A boy, the boy, had just held a knife to his neck. A boy, the boy, had just spoken. A silent boy, the silent boy, had spoken.


	18. And so, they live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating because you guys are da best

Chapter 18 (39):  
Frank's hands still hasn't stopped shaking. His mind was still racing, replaying the event in his head over and over and over again.

It had been three days since he saw Gerard, but he had neither the guts, nor the pride to see him again. He sure as hell looked like shit; he had barely slept, his hair sticking out at random angles, his arms and legs covered in bruises and scabs and scratches and scars. Just because he was in a mental institution didn't mean he was better. He wasn't happy or healthy or safe. But he wasn't dead.

And just because he was in a mental institution didn't mean he didn't have his fists or fingernails. Just because he was in a mental institution didn't mean he was free of himself, of his _diseased_ mind.

He rounded the corner for lunch, drumming his hands on his thighs to hide the shaking. He had been there a year. One full year, and never had he once felt this much like shit. Honestly, he was scared. Scared for himself, scared of himself, and scared for Gerard. He froze before sharply turning on his heel and tracing his steps back towards his room. It was too late, he had been seen.

"Frank?"

He didn't know why Mikey was here. He didn't know how he found him or the institution. He thought he had cut off all ties before doing _it_. There was literally no possible explanation for why Mikey was here.

He broke into a run, racing the halls that he knew all too well. After he received many many yells from the nurses, he slowed his pace and ducked into the nearest room. That room just so happened to be the infirmary.

***

The knife had long since been removed. Gerard had played stupid, acting completely taken back by the knife that had somehow made its way into the room and stuck into the wall directly opposite of him.

He was now avoiding conversation with the nurses by acting asleep. He was almost recovered, but he still felt like shit. As usual.

His eyes flickered open when he heard a door close, but quickly shut before the visitor noticed he was conscious. Especially because this new person was the last person he wanted to engage in conversation with.

Frank had barely closed the door before he started panicking again. At least he was focusing on something while running. Now, there was too much time to think. He had seen his friend from high school. Actually, one of his closest friends. Frank hadn’t had that many friends, and the ones he did have weren’t ever close enough to invite him over. But Mikey had recognized Frank well enough.

***

Mikey stood, staring at the spot where Frank had just fled. He was almost positive it was Frank, but what was he doing here? He hadn’t seen or heard from Frank in at least a year, so seeing him while visiting his brother was quite a shock. But, no. It couldn’t have been Frank. Frank had told him he was going to California or something for college. There’s no way it could have been Frank. And with that reassurance, Mikey makes his way to visit his brother in the infirmary.


	19. And so, they meet again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unexpected visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, as always. Thank you guys for not giving up on me haha!

Chapter 19 (40):  
Gerard lay as still as possible, listening to what was happening. He heard the door open yet again.

“Frank?”

He _knew_ that voice. Wait, he knew that voice.

He heard a chair squeak and footsteps.

“No, wait! Frank, don’t go! It really is you.”

Frank stopped trying to get away, instead squirming away from the grip Mikey had around his forearm.

“I haven’t seen you in forever! What are you doing here? I’m here to visit, but who are you visiting?”

At that moment, a nurse poked her head through the door. Gerard heard her speak.

“Mr. Lero. It’s time for lunch.”

Frank nodded, grateful for a reason to escape. He started towards the door, but the nurse stopped him.

“It’s alright, you can finish up here and come a little late.”

“Actually, Miss, it’s Iero. Like, with an ‘I’, not an ‘L’.”

“Oh yes, of course. But who are you? Are you Mr. Way’s visitor?”

“Yes Ma’am.” Mikey nodded his head and waved her a goodbye. She exited the room as Mikey turned to Frank. He had shrunken into a chair, curling his knees into his chest.

“So. You’re here, then.” Frank nodded.

“Well, have you been here for a while?” Another nod. Frank made a motion and Mikey understood, handing him his phone. He watched as Frank typed out a message.

“Yeah, I know Gerard. Actually, probably a little too long. We should never be in a room together, though.” He read Frank’s message.

“What? Ew, he’s my brother!” He saw Frank visually relax a bit at that comment. “Ha, I pity whoever he ends up dating! Seriously, though, he’s a weirdo.” Frank nodded and made a motion towards the bed.

“Yeah. Wait a second,” He turned towards Gerard. “You do know that you can open up your eyes now, right? You’re really not fooling anyone.”

Gerard’s eyes flew open in shock. Was he really that bad an actor?

Any thoughts soon faded as he laid eyes on his brother.

“Mikey! I missed you!”

“Really,” Mikey crossed his arms in front of his body, his face growing cold. “Because last time I visited you, you didn’t even look at me.” At this point, Frank was already halfway to the cafeteria, finally being able to breathe again. He made his way to a corner table and sank as low as possible into his seat. He groaned at the awkwardness that had just been forcibly shoved into his mind, groaning once again as he saw the reflection of someone behind him in the window. He turned around and saw Bob, smiling at him in greeting.

"Hey, Frank. S'been awhile, huh?" When he was met with Frank's downcast eyes and short nod, he pulled out a chair and plopped down.

"Yeah, I've been pretty busy lately, I guess. I figure you have, too. Anyways, I came to tell you that our good friend has left us today to rejoin the outside world. Lucky bastard, I'm gonna miss him, that Princess Fro Fro." Bob's eyes rested on the floor as he thought of all of the days he had just sat and talked to his roommate for hours. It had been nice, but it was over. He stood and patted Frank on the back, leaning over to speak in his ear.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to go and visit him. You know, after we get the fuck out of here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you!!!! Also, I will be updating my other story at some point, so go check it out. It's probs a lot better than this, but I actually don't remember because I haven't written anything in FOREVER!!!!!! Too much stress from school! Ahh! But, I hope you all do well in your classes or applications or jobs or whatever you guys are doing! So much love! Thank you thank you thank you! Also, sorry for this horrible writing job, it should get better in a little bit <3<3


	20. Bullies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember what happens here...just copy pasting from my past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who finally doesn't have her life together, but remembered this story? Me! I honestly have no idea what this chapter is about or if it even makes sense! I'll edit it if it doesn't work well, but thanks so so so so much for sticking around and continuing to read my stories! I love you all so so so so so much!!!

Chapter 20 (41):  
There were a good amount of adolescents at Planetary. Well, enough to form a Group Therapy Class for Teenagers and Young Adults. The other group was what Frank had called, "The Granny Group". The other people weren't really that old, but there was a clear enough distinction between the two groups that it was pretty much like separating babies and grandparents. So when Gerard butted into a situation he probably shouldn't have, he had no way of knowing who was involved.   
Gerard had never liked bullies. He had never liked standing off to the side, witnessing someone else get bullied. He believed it was just as much a crime as actually inflicting the pain. And he decided to stand by his motto while wandering the halls of Planetary. He had been stuffed up in his room for a while, drafting a new possible comic book idea. He thought it might be interesting to have two kids at a mental institution meet, but then again, his life was boring, so it wouldn’t be easy to make their lives particularly special. He needed a break.  
He was wandering the halls, still lost despite the many weeks of being at Planetary. He was bored, Frank was talking to Dr. Stump, it was too cold to do anything, and Gerard was bored. He had turned the corner into the lounge. It was 12:43. There were no nurses there. What was it with unsupervised kids in mental institutions...but there were people. A few people: Gerard, his grumbling stomach, Mort, his posse, and another kid with his back turned. The boy was slouched over, indicating to Gerard that the three kids surrounding him weren’t exactly his bffls. They seemed to be in the middle of a conversation, it wasn’t a nice one, and Gerard once again assumed his place just behind the corner. He was very skilled in the art of eavesdropping; not having many friends in high school kinda enhances those abilities a lot.  
“Well,” he heard Mort saying in his annoying nasal voice, “you shouldn’t have pissed me off, then.”  
The boy cocked his head in confusion.  
“Oh, you don’t need to do anything to piss me off, just having you around does the job.”  
Gerard didn’t like bullies, but if they had a purpose, such as revenge, he filed them into the “strongly dislike” mind-cabinet versus the “pure hatred” mind-cabinet. He didn’t understand why anyone hurt people for no apparent reason. He was sure that this kid was innocent. And because he was a genius that everyone loved and adored, he decided to butt in.  
The boys were still throwing insults at him when Gerard tried to “casually stroll around the corner”. But because he was also a graceful ballerina, he tripped on the leg of a chair. He tumbled to the ground. Thankfully, he recovered quickly, but Mort had seen. As had everyone else. The boy had turned around, but whipped to face the other way once Gerard glanced over. He decided stealth was no longer a possibility. He casually sat in a chair and picked up one of the dusty, overused magazines. Ugh, Teen Pop. He wished that the world would actually do something with the billions of lives instead of allowing half of the population to waste their lives obsessing over some Beaver guy or something. He snapped back into focus. He wasn't there to complain about the world's poor judgement, he was there to stand up for his peer...yeah.  
The boys had turned back to the poor kid, returning to hissing insults at him, but refraining from touching him. They probably were reprimanded for the first day Gerard was there. Still, no supervision, though. That just pissed off Gerard. But he wasn't necessarily in a spot to complain about safety. He was in a mental institution, after all.  
He listened in again. They threw nasty words in the boy's direction. But it wasn't until they said one thing that really ticked off Gerard.  
"Well," Mort let out a short laugh. It sounded like something from a horror movie. "At least I'm not a faggot."  
Gerard stood casually, but swiftly. He marched with his chin high over to the scene on the other side of the room. The posse didn't turn until he spoke. He still didn't have a good view of the boy's face. He spoke with a voice more confident than he had heard in his head.  
"You know, you're really the full package."  
Mort turned to look at him full on.  
"What?" His voice was fully clear of threat, but Gerard wasn't afraid of these punks. He was scared of needles, not insecure jerks.  
He saw the boy shake his head out of the corner of his eye. He shook it off. He had been bullied before, he could handle this.  
"Well, I mean, you're white," he counted off on his fingers, "you're not a fag, and you're not a douchebag." His list stopped on his middle finger.  
"Oh wait, you are," he said while raising his favorite finger and flipping them off with a sassy flip of his hair. Gerard was still facing the other direction when he spoke to the boy.   
"Come on. Don't waste your time with these kind gentlemen, here."  
He walked off, not bothering to see if the boy listened to him, but smiling upon hearing soft footsteps behind him. He was exiting the room as he heard Mort reply.  
"Fuck you!"  
He laughed and came to a halt. He heard the footsteps stop, too. He spun around to face them and did a small, spiteful bow.  
"Please."  
He flashed an innocent smile, but something caught his eye. As he turned around, he saw the boy. And he realized who it was. He should have known. The signs were all there.   
He hid the surprise from his face, spinning back around and walking semi-triumphantly through the hall. He had made it to the end and turned the corner before turning back. Frank was still behind him.  
Gerard shoved his fists into his sweatpant's pockets. Gerard didn't say anything. Frank didn't say anything. The silence hung around them, coated with tangible awkwardness. Frank shifting uncomfortably under the curious searching of Gerard's eyes. Gerard was scoring his face, tracing over every detail, almost as if he was burning the image into his brain. But Frank wasn't defenseless. He turned his face toward the floor as he had for years. He wasn't embarrassed (okay, yes he was), he was just uncomfortable. He wasn't a very comfortable person to begin with, so being around someone whom he totally didn't find very attractive at all, whatsoever, under any and all circumstances (he told himself this often), made it a little harder to be comfortable.  
Finally, Gerard spoke.  
"Hey."  
That was it. How did he expect Frank to reply to that! He had to remember that Frank didn't speak, so 'hey' wasn't necessarily the best choice for a conversation starter. Frank responded with an eye roll, encouraging Gerard to keep speaking. The silence hung around them for another for moments. Both boys jumped at the sound of the lunch bell. Gerard heard Frank's stomach grumble louder than an oncoming earthquake. He chuckled and smiled lightly.  
"Ummm...we should probably get to lunch."  
Frank nodded, thankful for a reason to escape the awkward moment. He and Gerard walked side by side, a less than comfortable, but better than awkward silence once again enclosing them. Gerard spoke softly.  
"Does that happen a lot? I mean, I'm not really with you a lot, you know, ever since...that night. Fucking counseling and shit."  
Frank nodded. He was also aware of every absence of Gerard. He liked having the comfort and safety provided by Gerard. He was the first person he had talked to in a long time. He was the only person he could talk to.   
"Hey, Frank?"  
Gerard swallowed quite audibly and Frank knew he was gonna be asked a serious question. Serious. Frank coughed to conceal a laughter that he felt bubbling up from his stomach. He couldn't look at Gerard without thinking of the graceful descent that he had experienced earlier. And Frank thought he was clumsy. He couldn't hold it in any longer, and before long, he was doubled over, laughing his silent laugh. Gerard didn't know what was funny. He didn't know why he was being laughed at. He hoped that Frank wasn't laughing like everyone else had during his life. He really hoped he wasn't laughing at him in the mean way that pretty much his school had. A worried look crossed his face, but soon vanished as he looked over at Frank, who was wiping his eyes. They had a red rim from laughing so hard. Gerard forgot what he was going to say before all together. He let a little chuckle escape him. It quickly built into a loud laugh as Frank portrayed what he was laughing about. So he was laughing at him, but in a nice way. Like, if he was laughing first, it would have been with him.  
They laughed until they couldn't remember what they were laughing about, laughed until their stomachs cramped painfully, laughed until they wanted to. Laughed until they forgot everything in the world but each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Time to go fail my English paper!

**Author's Note:**

> Read the first part of this series first!
> 
>  
> 
> [Read the first part here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2567426/chapters/5710460)


End file.
